On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I think my moral compass just broke
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
