I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
