I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I love you.
Bad choice
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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