Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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