So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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