whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
