now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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