JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Alive.
So much puke
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
