he thought i was a dude.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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