Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
