We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
