wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
