ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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