I think my vagina is haunted
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
