I'm being pulled over???
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.