oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!