just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
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I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.