why didn't you poke me back
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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