Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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