yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize