covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
