end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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