Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
