Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
