Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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