How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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