WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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