u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
