oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Randomize