I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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