made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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