I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She bit a glass in half.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Holy shit dude........stairs
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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