My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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