too bad you live with your parents still
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
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You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
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So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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