the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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