Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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