My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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