nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Randomize
