So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
