I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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