I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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