I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
