my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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