I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
