Just cropdusted the office
Fuck appropriateness.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
