wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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