dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
