Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
