I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
