Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
