I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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