I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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