Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
