So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
