Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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