Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
