I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
