So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
